A general Gintama community

And I passed the 1M words written (not all of them edited!!) (yet!) this morning. It was so strange to add my daily couple of paragraphs to the Leopard/Tree fic knowing this was coming lol. Wow. Glad I had my little crisis about it last year so I can just nod at it today while I step above it (crisis: ✅). I think when I started writing again in 2020 and firmly settled on the "one million bad words before you can get to the good ones" mindset, I expected I'd feel at least competent when I reached the milestone. Alas. Maybe because of the crappy first half of last year, I feel like I lost 2/3 of what I knew and still have to relearn so much about my own process and how to (hopefully) write well -- I've done it once or twice before, surely I can again ;) Anyway, that's done! \o/ Next milestone, one million edited words??? Though I guess I'm not really measuring that in any way that's easy to track, haha. It'll work out ;D This is cool. Maybe I should bake a word count celebratory cake like I used to during the lockdowns. Though I'll have to write the digits on top very small with so many of them now XD (Edit: OR MAKE A BIGGER CAKE I GUESS!!!!)

I miss sitting down with the concept for a novel and having a long first draft to lose myself into ahead of me, but mentally I can't do that while I have two other on-going novels, especially with the Soul Thief still a first draft itself. I think maybe when the structural edits are completed, that may free up the mental slot for "Big First Draft." I started the prep work on that, spending some time thinking about why I wrote it and what I want to leave readers with before actually starting the edits, this time. Like, who is the actual audience, also.

( Rambles on who to share one's writing with... )

Anyway, reaching a big milestone you've been working toward for years is kind of incredible actually. I'm awed. I'm happy. If nothing else, I've proven to myself that I can stick with it. I've learnt a ton. I've made connections with people, both on the reader side and on the writer side. Met all of you here! And I'm so excited to learn even more in the coming 5-to-10 years, which is the time period I'd given myself for that original milestone, haha. ONWARD!! :D

Two more little guys from K-9 are really capturing my imagination at the moment. Look at 'em:


You can't just show me two characters that comfortably handsy with each other and not expect me to go "Oh 👀"?! For anyone familiar with Wind Breaker, their vibes are massively similar to Togame and Chouji, especially early on. They're scratching my "murderous protectiveness" itch in just the right way.

Yuu, the blond chibi, can transform into a cute sort of hybrid leopard and loves to fight.


Meanwhile Satsuki can create and control huge branches. He may appear calmer and more reasonable, but that mostly means his expression won't change as he threatens to crush you between branches or tear your limbs apart. That kinda guy.


Obviously, I love them. For many reasons, too. But also aren't their abilities kind of ridiculous?! This is a world in which only criminals get a superpower, one related to the crime they committed!! What kind of crime do you commit that you can transform into a leopard?!

And thus, having thought about it way too much, I'm writing what will apparently become my first K-9 multi-chapter fic. With zero members of my beloved OT4 showing up XD This series is just ridiculous. I love it. The author is clearly having a ton of fun, and I love that for them.

Going on a Discord time-out for a few days (longer would probably be better, but let's start where we can). My skull feels like a hedgehog turned inside out with all the spikes drilling into my brain lately, and synchronous conversations (or even just the possibility of it) are like electric shocks running up and down the spikes.

I don't know why I'm always working so hard to find metaphors that probably only make sense to me. "And today's headache is... drilling into my brain through the temple! ...cerebellum massage with boxing gloves...!"

....I actually didn't know this bit was called cerebellum hahaha I thought it was the amygdala. Nothing like looking at diagrams of brain slices in the morning.

I wanted to post a book rec so it's not all eldritch hedgehogs and brains, but the BuJo with the rec I was thinking of is out of reach... Hm. Here are a couple of other books I enjoyed more recently though!

• August Kitko and the mechas from space, by Alex White. With its bright pink cover, you know it's going to be as crazy as the title suggest, and it was a ton of fun! With mechas! From space!! Haha. Crack treated seriously at its finest. Fun premise, set a few hundreds years in the future, and written so well. Loved that one of the MCs was a bisexual dude and the second MC/love interest is nb with they/them pronouns. Not plot relevant, it just is. Great space opera overall.
• A Darker Shade of Magic, by VE Schwab, which I got from a rec here (I mean I get like 90% of my book recs from my Dreamwidth reading page at this point I believe :D Thank you all!). Wonderful worldbuilding, wonderful writing, great characters. Great concepts, used really well. The kind of books that makes me want to write. I'm impatiently waiting for my library hold on the second one to be released!!

To quieter brains and asynchronous conversations! \o/ Please be patient with me if you expect a reply from me on discord. Or Dreamwidth, for that matter. My inbox is not quite empty yet but I'll get there, in time :D <3

Stuck about what to post about now that snowflake_challenge is over? Have a look at the Stuff I Love: Top Ten Edition challenge for February that dreamersdare cooked up! :D

The few notes I took during my not-really-pacing-check aren't taking as long as the previous chunky edits to integrate (THANK GOD), which means I'm also speed-running through my Having Feelings About The Manuscript cycle... *sigh* I was taking a few notes for a post as I went (seeing how much better it is than before! happy feelings!) but I've already moved on from happy to things to be sad/disappointed about.

Audience: "Wow, you're about 70% into the manuscript and thinking it's bad? Is this where we're supposed to act surprised???"

Like, it does help to know that I literally go through this cycle every time whether writing or editing, but the feelings are still being felt and kind of suck regardless T_T

Here's what the voice at the back of my mind says:

You're enjoying the story because you can see that it's better "than before" but that doesn't mean it's good. It'll probably still look like baby's crappy first draft to someone coming in fresh. You've also had over 2 years to get used to the worst flaws, the ones that can't be fixed because they are load-bearing in the story.

Anyway!

As always the first couple of days were a bit rough while I adjusted to a new way of doing things. I've landed on: I take the written down squiggled notes I made and add them as comments to my Scrivener file (unless they're super straightforward/require 0 thinking, then I just make the change). Then I go through these comments scene by scene, deleting them as I integrate the feedback. In my BuJo I have many many little boxes for every scene that I can tick when I'm done :D Each chapter is about 4-6 scenes so it helps with giving a sense of progress and make the process feel a bit less overwhelming. I do love my ticky boxes.

Vaguely considering adding chapter titles because a few chapters would really benefit, but some others are more awkward and I don't know that I really want to have to find 10+ more titles /o\

I'm still writing ficlets here and there as a pressure valve from editing :D However, there's a mindset thing I'm noticing that I don't like at all:

Me about to write fic: "This should be FUN! If it's not FUN, then you failed!! :D"
Me about to write origfic: "This should be GOOD! If it's not GOOD, then you failed!! D:"

I don't like that. It should all be fun, like, I should always slip into writing mode with a lighter spirit. I don't want my own worlds to feel like a chore, full of associated pressure. So, something I'll definitely want to address, though I'm not too sure how yet.

I went to bed at a reasonable time yesterday evening and started a new book with delighted anticipation. "Reading time! I'll get to fall asleep peacefully with my brain tummy full of stories <3" I thought. The way my tbr pile works is that I add recs to my library queue and most of the time by the time the book gets to me 1) I've completely forgotten what it was about and 2) there's a good chance I'll enjoy it because I did add it based on a rec that intrigued me to start with.

To set the scene further: in winter, the cat often climbs onto my stomach while I read because the blankets are thicker and fluffier.

ALAS! The book I started was Skye Falling by Mia McKenzie!!! I'm only about 70 pages in AND I LAUGHED SO HARD!! SO HARD!!!! Poor cat quickly abandoned me since it must have felt like a rodeo machine thing up there, but I was nearly crying and my non-existent abs were aching by the time I stopped reading.

Not the most restful way to fall asleep, I'll be honest. But oh my god. As much as I sometimes wince with some of her specific choices, Skye's internal voice is just. Just. Incredible. I'm not finished yet so no spoilers please :D But I'm fairly sure I picked up the rec from someone here so thank you to whoever mentioned it on their journal :D Wow. Like I laugh and cry and gasp often when reading, but I can't remember the last time I was non-stop guffawing like this from a book.

Edit: Finished the book and I stand by my rec! (The cat had to endure another round of stomach rodeo but I'm sure given time she will find it in her generous (?) heart to forgive me.) The book jacket says the story is about the complexities of family, queerness, race, and community. Definitely! It felt like a love letter to Philadelphia as well (I've never been). Impeccable narrator voice. Black queer woman protag. Many excellent relationships between women. And did I mention how much I laughed? I did. Though it doesn't mean the story isn't poignant or painful, sometimes even while laughing.